So I've done a lot in the past couple months in regards to my story and world building.
If you remember, I made this awesome map of the world:
Now I know it is kinda hard to see from this picture, but I used a grid to draw this map. Using that grid, I started to work on a history of the world, starting from ancient times. Currently my Human History is pretty much caught up to the timeline of the story I am currently working on. I'm still working on the history of the Elves, Dwarves, Okreds, Saphids, and Goryons. I believe even the Dragon's might have their own history story as well, since they are important creatures in the world - they are also really connected to Elvish and Goryon history.
I've created brief mentions of stories that I can probably evolve into short stories later on down the road, or be referenced in bigger stories that I do, like the one I am currently working on (which I've already done a little bit of). It is rather interesting to see how I am slowly making everything connect together and have its own little purpose.
If you remember the protagonist, Illum, you'd know he is kinda a complex character. Well now with a few tweaks to his backstory and the wording i use in the story I'm working on, Illum has become a very complex character. The bad part about this is I've created a sad almost tragic backstory for him, and I know that as the story progresses that Illum will have to deal with his tragic past in order to grow.
* isn't character development lovely *
Even Yarmik, who was originally intended to be just a typical villain character, has an even more tragic backstory and reasons to explain why he is the person that he is. I know it's crazy to think that there could be a villain you can empathize with. Welp, Yarmik has become that way for me and it is crazy. The worst part about it is that Yarmik isn't the protagonist and so I can't exactly develop his character throughout the story. But I believe I might be able to push an important lesson using Yarmik as an example :)
Even the overall antagonist, Yurid, has a huge reasons that explains why he is "evil." Yurid might have one of the more tragic backstories of all the characters. Going from a great prince, to a broken man, to the monster he is. It is really sad. Again, I probably could push another lesson based on the story of Yurid.
Even Perseus Bruqon has a sad background. A common theme among characters I believe :)
Percy has to face his past as well and since he is more around the Protagonist, Illum, for a vast majority of the series, readers will be able to watch him grow as well.
Really the only flat character would be Randal and he isn't even that flat. He has his own backstory and reasons for why he does what he does. Some of which are sad. Randal will be an interesting character to see develop as I progress in the story.
To be honest with you, my favorite character besides Illum would either be Prince Maollan or Mivius Bijor.
Maollan is an amazing character and his story is heartbreaking. Well he also is a strong character and wise when he needs to be. Maollan is going to be one of the focal points of being able to write out and explain my favorite theme in this story. It's gonna be awesome!
And Mivius Bijor - (sorry that the second one isn't finished - no eyes :D ) - will play a huge role as the story comes to an end. He is going to be a great and complex character to add to the story, even though out of all the characters, he probably is the only one that doesn't have a really tragic backstory. :)
That's pretty much it. It's interesting trying to make a compelling story even at the early stages of writing. And I think of all the planning that has gone into this story - to which I started almost a year ago.
As I was going along with my new prequel to my stories, I realized that there was no conflict within the first couple chapters (I'm currently in chapter 5). So I decided to reread a little bit of what I had already wrote and I found a beautiful piece of information from the first chapter that I knew that I could use. I can't tell you what that conflict was - you'll have to read it when it comes out ;)
However, I believe that even within the first couple chapters, a conflict needs to be added to your story because without out it, I feel like the beginning of the story will very vague and somewhat boring.
I'm still trucking along and have even developed a basic summary of all the chapters that I have left. I did this in order to constantly remind myself where I am going with this story - with the theme and paving the way for the next three stories. If I do it right (haha), it's gonna be an awesome and emotional ride lol. And I just hope that you guys enjoy it.
Alrighty.
So today I'm going to just post the first chapter of my new first part of the series. It's a doozy. Illum is only sixteen years old in this first chapter. It is meant to be a type of prologue before the actual story starts - which takes place four years after these events (starting in chapter 2). The purpose is to establish Illum's fear of magic and disgust in killing.
Remember I have not edited anything yet, so bear with me on this. Leave your comments and don't forget to share this if you liked it. Here ya go:
Chapter 1
I knew what I had to do.I gripped the sword in my hand and ran out to the stables.I jumped onto the back of one of the saddled up horses and swiftly maneuvered him around.I moved him at a gallop, rapidly leaving the protection of Bruqon Castle, and entering the shadowy woods.
They had killed him.They had killed my only brother.The Yu Vong Bandits.
No one seemed to care.No one did anything when he and the other Knights of Bruqon were killed.The Yu Vong came out of nowhere.They ambushed him and his patrol.They mutilated their bodies.
Yet, no one did anything!
Even my own father, who was a knight – a war hero none the less – did nothing to avenge his son’s death.No.I had to do this.I had to avenge my brother by myself.
I clinched the sword in my right hand, remembering all that my father, brother, and my best friend had taught me.All I could feel was a blind rage towards the Yu Vong.My hands were shaking with anger, almost making me drop the sword.
All I could think of was my brother, Jason.He and my best friend Perseus Bruqon were the only two people in this world that I cared about.Jason was my brother, and they killed him!
I moved the horse along even faster.I knew where the Yu Vong Bandits that killed my brother were camping out at.I had overheard some of the Knights of Bruqon give a report to Lord Laehan Bruqon that the Yu Vong were holed up in an abandoned outpost near Cedarville.I knew exactly where that was because Jason and Perseus had trained me in sword combat there.Another disgraceful thing that the Yu Vong ruined!
I moved my horse faster down the old path through the woods, passing the road to Cedarville.The outpost was coming up quickly.I was almost there.Almost ready to the avenge my brother’s death!
Then something hard hit me from the left, knocking me clean off of the horse and onto the ground.The wind got knocked out of me and I became dizzy as someone stood over me.With my blurry vision, I could make out who it was.Surely it was the Yu Vong!
I desperately made a mad grab for my sword, which had flown out of my hand and landed a few feet away from me.But the figure moved swiftly, grabbed both my arms and placed his knee on my chest – pinning me down.I struggled to defend myself, to hit the figure.But I couldn’t move.
Then, when I least expected it, I heard the figure say over and over, “Illum stop!”
I stopped moving, thinking that it was my brother’s voice.Could Jason be alive?
My vision came back and I looked up and saw, much to my gloom, that it wasn’t Jason.Jason was dead…and he was never coming back.
The figure who stood over me was Perseus.
I stared up at him, tears filling my eyes and started struggling to get free, crying out, “Let go of me, Percy!I have to do this.I have to kill them.They killed my brother.Let me go, Percy!”
“No damn it,” Percy yelled shaking me.“No!You’re suicidal thinking that you can kill all of those bandits.Listen to me Illum.Look me in the eyes and listen to me!”
With tears leaking from my eyes, I looked up at Percy.His woeful brown eyes looked back into my own.The wind was blowing enough to make his wavy chestnut brown hair jump around on his head.
“Jason was my friend, Illum,” Percy cried.“I want revenge just as bad, but you can’t just jump into a fight without thinking of the consequences.Killing people is not what it is all cracked up to be.You shouldn’t rush into dealing out death.”
“It isn’t revenge, Percy!”
“Then what is it Illum,” he yelled.“Do you really think this is some self-righteous cause to bring your brother back?Jason is dead, and nothing can bring him back Illum!Don’t throw away your life for nothing.”
“Get off of me,” I yelled.“I have to do this.I have to…”
Percy stared into my eyes as if he was trying to read my mind.I could see tears beginning to form behind his woeful eyes.He whispered, “I can’t lose you too.”
My eyes locked onto his as a tear slowly rolled down his cheek.Perseus was my best friend.I listened to him, but this time it was different.This was about my brother.I had to do something.
So I begged, “Then help me kill them.You all have taught me how to fight.I know what to do.Help me kill them. There were only a few of them who survived their attack.We could take them together.”
Percy didn’t say anything.He just shook his head, trying to hold back his tears.
“Percy, please.This isn’t for me.This is for my brother.This is for Jason.”
“You’re talking about killing people, Illum.”
“These bandits are just going to keep coming back.They are going to keep killing more and more people.When does it stop Percy?When does it stop?”
Percy sighed and gave up, “You do exactly as I say.”
Percy let go of me and stood up straight.He pulled me up from the ground and said, “Pick up your sword and let’s go.”
I grabbed my sword and started to get back on my horse, but Percy pushed me away from it saying, “They’ll see us coming.We stick to the trees.”
I nodded and followed Percy.We moved swiftly through the woods and stopped once the old outpost was in our sight.Percy instructed me to climb a tree and he followed me up.
“How many bandits do you see,” He asked me.
I looked over the edge of the tree and began seeing a couple of the bandits.I saw five heavy set men, wearing very light armor, covered in fur.They each had a deadly blade.Then I saw a very tall, muscular man walk out from a tent.He had a large ax strapped onto his back.He was wearing iron armor that had recent blood stains on it.
Then I looked over at Percy and whispered, “I count six.”
“Eight,” Percy replied pointing out two archers that were sitting next to the balcony of the outpost.“I’ll take out the archers.You run across this branch and jump down to the balcony.They’ll come for you, so remember your basics.Use your defensive stances and you’ll be able to push them back.”
Percy drew his bow that was strapped over his shoulder and drew one of his arrows.He was, after all, one of the best archers in the entire Abatral Kingdom.He was trained by the Elves, the best archers in the Realm.
Percy then nodded at me and ordered, “Go.”
I raised my sword and began walking on the sturdy branch.I had done this a million times before – walking on that branch and jumping down.I gripped my sword as I got to the edge of the branch.I took a deep breath, and jumped.
The balcony to the outpost was only a couple feet down, so it didn’t hurt that bad when I landed.The archer who was standing at this balcony stared at me, looking rather surprised.He drew his dagger and began to charge at me, but Perseus unleashed an arrow.I could hear the deadly song that the arrow sang as it whistled through the air and smashed into the Yu Vong Archer’s chest.The Archer dropped dead.
Watching the archer die for some reason gave me an adrenaline rush.I retightened my grip on my sword and ran down the balcony towards the bandits.I noticed that the other archer had been killed by another one of Percy’s arrows, as he had fallen clear off of the balcony onto the ground, alerting the other bandits to my presence.
I raised my sword as I charged forward.The closest of the Yu Vong Bandits attacked me.He swung his sword and brought it down hard onto mine.I remained in a defensive stance and was able to parry his blow.I swung up and down, left and right, deflecting every attack that the Bandit threw at me.Jason and Percy had taught me well.
Soon, I started to notice some of the bandit’s weaknesses.He had the slightest hesitation in his left arm, probably some old battle wound, and every time he swung his sword it was with all his might.If he kept it up he would tire himself.However, I began to notice that two of the bandits were closing in on me.If I fought against three, just as Percy had warned, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
So I saw my opportune chance.He swung hard from the left, his left hand leading the strike.I started to duck closer to the ground, swinging my sword with all my might from my left.I could feel the bandit’s sword swoosh right above my head, hearing the deadly piece of metal sing its shrill song.
As the bandit’s sword crossed past my head, I continued my attack, standing back up performing an uppercut.My sword cut through the weak fur armor that the bandit was wearing and delivered a devastating blow to the bandit’s chest, causing him to gasp out in pain.
I semi-circled my sword in the air and thrust it forward into the bandit’s exposed chest, which made a disgusting squishing noise.Blood almost immediately began to drool out of the Bandit’s wound.I wanting to look the bandit in the eyes.I wanted to see him die for all that he and his people did to my brother!
Clenching my teeth in anger, I looked up glaring; but as my eyes met his, my mouth dropped and all I felt was shame.What had I done?
I had killed someone.I was no better than they were!In that moment, where my eyes were deadlocked with this bandit’s, I was petrified.I couldn’t look away.All could see was fear in the bandit’s eyes.All of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach.I realized that this was a mistake.I didn’t want to do this anymore.
The only thing that brought me out of my trance was Percy screaming, “Illum move!”
My vision came back and I saw that the two bandits had reached me.They were preparing to swing their swords to kill me.I tried to pull my sword out of the dying bandit’s chest, but it wouldn’t budge.
“MOVE,” Percy screamed.
So I let go of my swords hilt and rolled backward.I watched as the two bandit’s swords cut into the dying bandit’s body and cut him clean in half.
I gasped and watched in horror as the body parts fell to the ground.I was terrified.I didn’t know what to do as I lay there on the ground.The bandit’s charged me, roaring in rage.
However, two nicely placed arrows tore into their chests, bringing them to their knees.They began to stand back up, clinging to their swords, but they were each hit by another arrow.They flopped to the ground, with a sickening smack.
I pulled at my hair anxiously.My hands were shaking.I needed to get out of here.This was too much for me. I was no warrior.
Then I heard a stomping sound.I looked to my right and saw Percy running towards me.
“Are you alright,” he asked as he kneeled down next to me.
In probably the most truthful moment I had with anyone, I shook my head no.
“I warned you,” Percy yelled.“This is what it is like Illum.We have to stop them here, or they will go get more bandits and chase us.Pick up your sword and fight.”
I nodded.I stood up and walked forward, still shaking.I found my sword still sticking out of the chest of the bandit who was sliced in two.I stared horrified at the dead bandit’s terrified face that was sprinkled with blood.
“Pull it out,” Percy yelled as two more bandits charged at us.
I nodded and gripped the hilt of my sword.I pulled it out of the chest, revealing its blood covered blade.I closed my eyes and took a step back at the sound of flesh being torn from inside the man’s body as I removed my sword.I almost vomited.
“Hold it together Illum,” Percy yelled.“We got this!”
Percy shouldered his bow and pulled out his sword.
“Back to back, just like we practiced,” Percy ordered.
I put my back up against his.Feeling his back up against mine gave me some level of comfort, knowing that my best friend was standing with me.That he wouldn’t leave me.
But hearing the bandit’s approaching us, screaming war cries, I slowly became terrified.I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to kill either.The man who I had killed had been mutilated, almost like Jason had been.I was no better than the Yu Vong.
“Steady Illum,” Percy whispered softly.His voice seemed to calm my mind somehow.“Steady.”
I took a deep breath, trying to find my center; even closing my eyes.I exhaled, feeling all the fear flow out of me with my breath, and opened my eyes. I gripped my sword tight as one of bandit’s charged at me.I took a defensive stance as the man swung his sword with only his right hand.
I swung hard, parrying his blow and swiftly swung back to the right cutting into the man’s torso.In my swing, I brought my sword up and back down, cutting across the man’s chest.Both deadly strikes made a loud slicing noise, like the ripping of clothes.
The bandit grunted in pain, but raised his sword again, trying to kill me.I quickly, almost instinctively, swung my sword to meet his.Only this time, I hit his sword stopping the attack, then I twisted my sword over his blade and thrust it forward, causing him to lose his grip and allowing his sword to fly out of his hand.My hands moved desperately to maneuver sword and deliver a killing blow to the bandit’s heart.The bandit dropped dead.I removed my sword from his chest.Breathing heavily, I turned around to see Percy finish off the other bandit.
Percy then turned to me and asked, “Are you alright?”
I nodded out of breath, “I’m ok.”
“Where did their leader go,” Percy asked.
As I prepared to answer, there was a loud roar and Percy was hit so hard that it knocked him to the ground.
I looked up in terror to see the giant of a man towering over me, with his ax in hand.He had the look of pure hatred in his dark brown eyes as he clenched his teeth evilly.The man swung his ax and I raised my blade.I was surprisingly able to parry the blow but had to take a few steps backward to regain my balance.This happened about two more times.
The third time, however, I couldn’t hold the bandit.He swung so hard that he knocked my blade clean out of my hands.He then kicked me to the ground, which felt like getting walked on by a horse.
I clutched my chest in pain as the Bandit leader roared, “Bruqon fool.You both will pay for this!”
He prepared to raise his ax over me.Accepting the end, realizing I was wrong for coming here and that this was my payment, I closed my eyes and looked away.
But then I heard the Bandit start growling and choking.I looked back and saw that Percy had jumped on the Bandit’s back and was squeezing the bandit’s neck with his arms.The Bandit dropped his ax and reached up, grabbing Percy’s arm and throwing him down next to me.
Percy groaned in pain I looked up in horror as the bandit retrieved his ax.He prepared to swing his ax on Percy roaring, “Lord Vong will be pleased to know that another Bruqon Knight was killed!”
The Bandit roared and began to swing down.I didn’t know what to do, but this was Percy.He was my best friend.I would die before him.So I screamed grasping at the air trying to somehow stop the bandit from swinging his ax onto Percy.
SNAP!
The disgusting sound echoed through my ears. It was followed by a loud thud and complete silence.
I opened my eyes, seeing my hands clenched in the air, shaking terribly as though they were possessed.I leaned up and saw the bandit leader lying on the ground, his neck in an awkward position.He appeared to be dead.
Still shaking horribly, I looked over at Percy who was sitting up as well.I was breathing shakily, not sure what I had just done.Percy stared at me, with some fear creeping into his eyes.
He then asked me, “How long have you been able to use magic?”
“I can’t use magic,” I replied terrified, tears rolling down my face, realizing what I had just done.
“You just did,” Percy said.“You just snapped his neck using magic.”
Still shaking I stared at Percy absolutely petrified and said, “Don’t tell anyone about this.Please…”
Percy nodded.We both looked at the dead bandit leader.I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a monster I could be.If I had magic and I could do this…I didn’t want to learn how to use it.Not if it meant killing.
Not if it meant this…
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Pictures drawn by me Video 1
The purpose of this post is to show you guys some pieces of information to actually set up the story I am currently working on. This entire post is about the seven main characters seen throughout the story - Illum, Perseus, Randal, Roland, Yarmik, and Yurid - and to give a brief backstory about that character. I have also attached the pictures of the characters that I have drawn - so that you guys can have a visual too. Haha - the pictures get better the further down you go :D Hope you enjoy, and remember to leave comments or anything that you think I should add. Thanks :)
Illum:
Illum is the Protagonist. His name literally translates to "shining light." Illum's parents were Peter and Elizabeth. Peter was a knight of Bruqon - and best friend of Roland - and Elizabeth was the personal assistant of Lady Gaundra - the leader of the Bruqon clan's wife. Illum is an expert swordsman, and was trained by pretty much all the other characters on this list. Illum has an ability to use magic, although he prefers to hide this fact. Illum started off as a servant boy in the Bruqon Clan. He had a brother named Jason who was a knight of Bruqon. Illum has had a troubled past, but he has always seen the bright side of his situations - well except once. Illum was a very talented musician and became a servant to King Yurid when Yurid's wife died. He brought hope back to the Royal Family, but eventually Yurid believed that Illum had put a spell on him - as Yurid was teaching Illum magic - and Yurid ordered that Illum and those associated with him be killed; this changed to capturing Illum alive after Illum fled to the Aona Islands (where the story starts). Illum eventually became the leader of the rebellion against King Yurid. At the time of the story, he is twenty-one years old.
Perseus:
Perseus is the best friend of Illum, and has been his friend since they were very young. Perseus is two months younger than Illum. He is an expert archer, trained by the Elves. He was also taught by the Elves how to become an expert at stealth. Perseus was really good at sword fighting as well. Perseus' father was a baron living in Bruqon, making his family a part of the ruling class of Bruqon. He was raised to be a knight, and proved himself many times in combat. Perseus was once a Royal Guard in Enochai Tower while Illum was there. Perseus eventually became one of the three head generals of the Rebellion against King Yurid. Perseus was twenty-one years old by the start of the story.
Randal:
Randal is a close friend of Perseus and Illum. He was the page to Sir Peter - Illum's father. Randal became a Knight of Bruqon after Illum's father was killed by the Yu Vong Bandits. He worked with Yarmik and the Royal Assassins - The Black Hand - to destroy the Yu Vong Bandits early in his career. Randal was a master swordsman, and somewhat good at archery. He was once a Royal Guard in Enochai Tower while Illum was there. Randal eventually became one of the three head generals of the Rebellion against King Yurid. He was eighteen years old by the start of the story.
Maollan:
Maollan is the Crown Prince of Abatral - the son of King Yurid. Maollan is a strong leader, but the people of the kingdom generally despise him by association with King Yurid and Yarmik. Maollan was taught by Roland and Yarmik. He is a master swordsman, archer, and a master of stealth. He is a warrior, but has a troubled past marked with death. Maollan was the friend of Illum - when Illum lived in Enochai Tower. Out of all the characters on this list, Maollan is the wild card - as his decisions may have more repercussions than Illum or Yurid's will. He was twenty years old by the start of the story
Roland:
Roland was a war hero in the Hellion War. He killed the Bandit King Hellion at his Bandit Fortress. He earned the title "Slayer of Hellion" from King Richard, the father Yurid. Roland became the Commander of the Royal Guard in Abatral. When King Richard was assassinated, his son - Yurid - allowed him to continue being the Commander of the Royal Guard. Roland is intensely loyal to the Royal Family. By the time of the story, Roland becomes the new Overall Commander of all the Armies in Abatral - earning him the title "Grand General." Roland is a strategic genius and a fearsome opponent. His intolerance of the Rebellion has earned him a reputation as a murderer - to the point of which the people call him Roland the Slayer. He was forty years old by the start of the story.
Yarmik:
Yarmik is feared by all who oppose King Yurid. He is the leader of the Royal Assassins/Police Force, an organization called the Black Hand. He was befriended by King Yurid at an early age. He already was a master of stealth, and a master archer. Commander Roland taught him to become a master swordsman. Yurid turned him into a master assassin, creating the Black Hand - allowing Yarmik to train other assassins like him. Yarmik became feared by many in the Kingdom of Abatral, and known as a cold-blooded killer and Yurid's lap dog. Yarmik trained both Illum and Maollan in all that he knew - by order of Yurid. Yarmik has been tasked with hunting down Illum, killing all who dare to stand in his way - even the entire ruling family of the Bruqon Clan. Recently he has fallen out of favor with Yurid, as he is unable to capture Illum. Yarmik has been ordered to not return to Yurid until Illum had been captured alive. He was thirty-eight years old by the start of the story.
Yurid:
King Yurid is the antagonist. He is behind all things that go wrong in the Kingdom of Abatral - but he is not without his reasons. Yurid is secretly driven by fear. He has become corrupted by Tumma Vikus (Dark Magic), and is one of the most powerful magic users in the world. He has a horrific past, and has made others feel his pain throughout his life. He treasures his son Maollan, as he is his only heir. Yurid rarely ever leaves Enochai Tower, but when he does everyone flees before him - in fear of their lives. King Yurid seems to feel nothing when he kills, and isn't afraid to get the job done when others fail. Before the Rebellion began, Illum was a musician in Yurid's court - giving him peace during his time of mourning his wife's death. He eventually came to care for Illum, as though he were his own son. He even saw that Illum had a high amount of Vikus inside of him, and trained Illum on how to use magic. Of course this was before he had the entire Kingdom hunt Illum down to capture him. Yurid is more complicated than he looks, but he truly is a symbol of evil in the Realm. His eventual goal is to take over the entire Realm in order to bring peace, security, and order to all the lands. He is forty-five years old at the start of the story.
So now you've met the characters. This post will probably be one of the last Abatral Story updates that I will do in a while - as now I begin the beautiful (time killing) process of writing a story. In my future posts, I'll probably just give an update on where I'm at in writing the story. When I finish the first draft, I'll do a post on that. Thanks for your support :)
A fire has begun,
One that shall never be quelled,
The true fight begins.
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